Book Review | I Am The River by T. E. Grau

Set five years after the Vietnam War, Israel Broussard lives a lonely, corrupt life in Bangkok. Flashbacks show Broussard as an American soldier in active duty in Vietnam, recruited by a man named Chapel. The man claimed he had a grand plan to end the war. Broussard was branded a coward when he refused to engage in a prior battle, so he welcomed this second chance to fight. Along with four other soldiers, Broussard took part in a secret operation, with devastating consequences.

The present Broussard is haunted by Black Shuck, a spectre in the form of a black hound. He also sees a river, the water slowly rising and threatening to drown him. The only way he can escape these hauntings, or visions, is to return to his past, right in the midst of war. Only then can he find a way to overcome the source of guilt and heaviness tormenting him.

The buzzing increases, and the water rises. At my ankles now, cold and biting my skin, sending a tongue up my leg. The River never listens, because it has no ears, but its mouth is always open.

I Am The River absolutely blew me away. Knowing it’s a Stoker Award nominee and seeing the praises from other authors, I already had high expectations for this book. But it reached my expectations and more.

I was pulled into the story from the first line. The hallucinatory vibe and unsteady narration made me realise this was not going to be an easy read. The present narrative is set in the first person while the past is set in the third person. This might seem gimmicky but it works. Broussard is an intriguing protagonist, a morally grey character who is haunted by his past. He struggles with traumatic memories of the war and a lifetime of emotional wounds. Being African-American, he didn’t fit in his Southern hometown. In Bangkok, he is an outsider; the locals call him the Night Man. Broussard is a lost soul, constantly seeking to find his place in the world.

On top of that, he is haunted by the Black Shuck and the River. The imagery of his visions are unnerving and the way he thinks of them are gutting. He wants to escape these visions but at the same time his guilt makes him welcome them. He wants to be taken by them. There is a chilling scene where he meets a medium to solve his problem that makes it clear that yes, this is a horror story.

The sun finally dies in the western sky. The dome above them is black at the apex and dropping slow like a curtain toward the edge of the world, peppered by the salt of a billion billion stars, most of them dead a trillion years back. Maybe I died then, too, and came back to the third planet orbiting this tiny star each and every night as the candlelight shadow of the long dead.

The past narrative set during the Vietnam War is equally compelling. The War took place before my time and it is a part of history that I have not really consumed through popular culture – unlike the World War II or the Iraq War. But everything I read about it is frankly terrifying, like all wars are. This book shows the terrible cost of war on all sides and its impact long after the war is over.

The flashbacks also highlights the camaraderie between soldiers forced to take part in a war without fully knowing what’s at stake. The idea of a spook – or spy – is almost myth-like to these soldiers, until they are pulled into a scheme set by one. Their mistrust of their new commander lends an eerie feeling to an already unknown situation. The description of their journey into the jungles of Laos is lush and vivid, and I almost felt as if I was with them. Both past and present narratives eventually combine leading to a brutal climax. I have to be honest, I was in tears by the end! It never ceases to amaze me the extent of cruelty that humans can do to one another.

The writing in this book is stellar. There is a deliberateness to the words, so that even though Broussard is floating in his broken mind, it was never confusing to follow. I knew every step of his journey and the pain that he suffered, and inflicted. Heartbreaking, nightmarish and profound, I Am The River is one that will stick in my mind for a long time. Absolutely recommended.

About the author: T.E. Grau

Photo by Jeremy Bishop