Book Review | Penpal by Dathan Auerbach

In this terrifying book, a man recalls strange and disturbing incidents during childhood. From his earliest years in kindergarten to his older teenage years, he learns that these events are part of a single story that has shaped his life and those around him. And what he discovers will change him forever.

You just have to know what you’re looking for, and when you do, suddenly it’s all you can see.

Penpal was originally part of a creepypasta series submitted to the NoSleep subreddit. I’ve previously read one of the chapters, “Balloons” on the subreddit and I remember it freaked me out. This book expanded on the plot even more. Told in a non-linear format, each chapter features a specific occurrence that happened during the narrator’s childhood. In “Balloons”, the narrator takes part in a classroom activity where the students write letters and attach them to balloons to be released. These letters are intended to lead them to new penpals. But of course, something goes wrong for the narrator. And this is the catalyst for everything that happened afterwards.

Most of the book takes place in the forest near the narrator’s house, where he often plays with his friend, Josh. There’s something nostalgic about the way he remembers this time and how their activities involved basic things like creating maps, going rafting and exploring the woods. I liked their friendship and how both of them looked out for each other. The way this friendship is remembered is ultimately crucial to the narrator’s memories. In hindsight, their innocent explorations felt dangerous, and the scrambled timeline kept me guessing.

The story is like a puzzle box mystery, where the reader is piecing things together with the narrator. What he didn’t understand when he was younger is finally revealed to him. The reveal is worth the wait and the truth is horrifying. I like horror books to make me feel things but I was truly not prepared! When I think back to certain scenes, I legit have goosebumps. The book dug into my existing fears and rooted them out. The combination of childhood innocence with the darker side of humanity made for an affecting read. Especially since the narrator was left in the dark for so long, and now has to reconcile his life with what he never knew before.

Penpal is a horrifying look into memories, secrets and loss of innocence. Read it, but be warned it might give you nightmares.

CW: animal death

About the author: Dathan Auerbach

Photo by Fredrik Solli Wandem